Functional Fashion Find: Clear Eyes, Full Skirt, Can't Lose

You may remember that I'm a big proponent of functional clothing for women. Restrictive garments that have no pockets (or worse, present but unusable pockets) make me twitchy. I want clothes I can move in, clothes that can accommodate my very large mobile phone, clothes that make carrying a purse unnecessary. Such clothes are rather hard to come by, so I've decided that when I do happen upon them, I'm going to share the good news with you, dear readers. And so, I give you our very first Functional Fashion Find:

When I was a young girl, I sometimes lamented the fact that my mom wouldn't let me dress like other girls. While everyone else was wearing colorful stirrup pants, tunics and sneakers, little Samantha was sporting homemade dresses and orthopedic shoes. Add in my ever-present braids, and this is pretty much what I looked like as I lumbered through the halls of Jenks East Elementary School:

My mother, aunt and grandmother were all talented seamstresses, and because I was the only girl in the family, I was their creative outlet. I wore their masterpieces (and truly, they were brilliantly crafted) with as much grace as an overweight child with premature acne could. But eventually, it became apparent that I needed to expand my wardrobe. I moved on to new ways to look awkward and frumpy (I'm looking at you, Units).

Today, I realize that despite how out of place/time I might have looked in my 100% cotton jumpers and drop-waisted dresses, these roomy frocks afforded me so much freedom. In them, I could play soccer with the boys in Oklahoma's punishing summer heat and stay fairly cool. I could be out of my dress and into my soccer uniform, leotard or nightgown in seconds flat. And, my in-house designers never left out pockets — deep, glorious pockets of all kinds, be they patch, slash or inseam. In retrospect, I was hashtag blessed.And so I bring you to our first Functional Fashion Find. YOU GUYS, IT'S A JUMPER.

Behold:

Now, I know this isn't in keeping with current trends. It's rather long and loose relative to much of what's on the market right now. And you may chastise me for selecting a dress for a debut fashion feature on a feminist website. BUT I DON'T CARE. This jumper is the bomb. It's classic. It's pinstriped. It's full-skirted (the better for sitting cross-legged on the couch or wherever else I damned well please). It slips on and has adjustable straps, a nice wide waistband and big 'ole honking pockets. It's so me. And I'm in love.

Submit your own Functional Fashion Find here.

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